Don Patch and The Standardized test!
by PunkPygmiePuff
Summary: don patch has to take a standerdised test, when he suddenly stumbles on a probing question...
1. A probing Question

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**_Disclaimer: I do not own bo-bobo , Frankly I don't know why i am writing a fan fiction of this sort. _**

**_This story came to me when I was suffering the woes of the standerdized test, you know the weeks of practice before the test. I would also like to say that I got out of school on June 30th._**

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**Don Patch and the Standerdized test:**

**Chapter one**

Don patch stared awestruck at the question before him, not Knowing quite what to do.

_**What is your gender?**_

_**(a) Female**_

_**(b) Male**_

"What _is _my gender?" don patch asked himself,

feeling his eyes water. So Don patch raised his trembling hand and Bellowed in the most nasally voice he could muster,

" TEACHER!TEACHER!TEACHER!"

"My- name - is - Ms.- Spanglosioiikigidiekdiekjidk" the teacher spat, surprisingly without difficulty. And she stormed over to the wailing don patch, a vein pulsing on her forehead._ Ach_ she thought _will the torment from this vile creature ever end, will whatever he is ever leave my presence! CALM DOWN MARSHA! _she spoke to herself harshly you_ must contain yourself. Soon_ Ms. Spanglosioiikigidiekdiekjidk had reached Don's desk in the far back of the class room.

" Teacher" he sniveled

"yes" the teacher replied harshly

" I don't know my gender" he said bursting into tears.

"y-you mean you don't know" Ms. Spanglosioiikigidiekdiekjidk said clutching her chest

don patch frowned and said the worst words he could have said,

"no"

The teacher froze contemplating this immense problem,

"what is it's gender?" she mouthed color draining from her wrinkled face,

even with rosy makeup plastered on her face she looked pale.

_In all of this dreadfully long year I've never been able to figure out what gender that blasted Don Patch is, I mean his name leads one to think Mr. Patch is male . But when you look at all of it's **interesting **get ups you are led to think other wise. Ach my mind hurts! _the voice in her head screamed in agony, then suddenly something caught her eye, none other than don patch.

His eyes were glimmering with a strange look she had many times this year, and one such event stuck to her mind...

**_DON PATCH FILMS PRESENTS: LEARNING ABOUT INJUNS!_**

_**Ms. Spanglosioiikigidiekdiekjidk was deep into a lecture about the native American lifestyle and how they survived when don patch got that same wretched glitter in his eye. Seeing this once before she had mouthed **_

_**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" **_

_**but it was too late Don Patch had leaped up into the air yelling in a strangely female voice ,( The teacher had never seen a female transformation up to this point, mind you it was the beginning of the year. But on with the Fan Fiction!) **_

_**" I'LL SHOW YOU SURVIVING!" **_

_**and when don fell back down he/she was wearing a strapless red sparkly gown and a bunch of teddy bears dressed as native Americans were gathered around don patch. and the teacher let out a blood curdle ling scream bringing the appalled class back to their senses.**_

_**As this happened don jumped in her/his heels across the desks onto the teacher's desk sweeping everything off. Ms. Spanglosioiikigidiekdiekjidk backed up against the wall trembling, soon the teacher had fallen into the fetal position. Well anyway don patch had started to sing,**_

_**" First I was afraid I was petrified Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side But I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong I grew strong I learned how to carry on and so you're back from outer space I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face I should have changed my stupid lock I should have made you leave your key If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me Go on now go walk out the door just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye you think I'd crumble you think I'd lay down and die Oh no, not I I will survive as long as i know how to love I know I will stay alive I've got all my life to live I've got all my love to give and I'll survive I will survive It took all the strength I had not to fall apart kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart and I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself I used to cry Now I hold my head up high and you see me somebody new I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you and so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free now I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me"**_

_**DON PATCH THEATRES SAY " THE END"**_

Ms. Spanglosioiikigidiekdiekjidk shuddered thinking about the events that followed, The_ bears swung torches to the beat of the music, children ran screaming from the bears, ach the class was pure horror. Suddenly_ Ms. Spanglosioiikigidiekdiekjidk snapped into focus and found don patch gone , and gulping she looked to the front of the classroom...

to be continued...

**_Please read and respond any readers.If you actually read this please respond so that I know that you are out there and not a mythical creature. So that I am not fooling my self by writing this ._**


	2. Whats My Gender?

**_Readers please note that I do not own bo-bobo, any of these songs, Eddie Izzard or Garfield_. '**_Also note that these symbols and italics that don patch and others are singing.'_

**Don Patch and the Standardized test**

**The teacher looked to the front of the classroom to see what horror had stuck her lovely classroom. Don patch sat at the front of the classroom now wearing a sharp suit and an ugly toupee.**

**" Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh",**

**the teacher screamed whilst clutching her face with her fire engine red nails.**

**Suddenly Dengatu man popped up out of bo-bobo's head , who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Dengatu man said sporting lime green nails,**

**"VERY PURTYFUL nail polish is Fantastical and comes in many shocking colors"**

**" Hence the name VERY PURTIFUL! Aren't mine absolutely divine",**

**Bo-bobo said sporting Hot pink nails. **

**The teacher screamed and jumped out the window landing in a conveniently located lasagna truck with a orange tabby cat gorging on the lasagna inside.**

**"gruvnt vromp",**

**the cat mumbled with his mouth full of food and with that the teacher screamed and called the crazy house.**

**" Its happening again" , **

**she wailed helplessly,**

**"Orange Cat's...Nail Polish...Lasagna...Children!"**

**and as she put the phone down a truck came, put her in a strait jacket and threw her in a truck. **

**The teacher sighed smiling as she was carted off and she said,**

**"Ah...This is the life".**

**Meanwhile in the class room don patch was interrogating the class with a news crew of bear surrounding him.**

**"Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo",**

**he said to the class at large in a silky voice,**

**"Today on _I'm so gorgeous it hurts_ we are going to find out what gender I am-"**

**"But first " a bear interrupted,**

**"We would like to ask our live audience any questions"**

**"So, What are you made of?",**

**a young girl inquired,**

**"well...",**

**Don patch said smirking,**

**"_my goodies"_ .**

**and suddenly music began starting up and don patch was now in a skimpy belly dancing outfit and long flowing dirty blond hair. Not to mention his bears were in rapper/ gangster out fits. Soon don patch was singing in a metallic bedazzled pink microphone.**

_Don Patch)__  
'My Goodies, My Goodies, My Goodies  
Not my goodies!_

Bo-bobo  
I got a sick reputation for handling broads  
All I need is me a few seconds or more.  
And it's a wrap  
Tell lady to bring my lap  
And I ain't comin back  
So you can put a car right there.  
I'm the truth  
And ain't got nothin' to prove.  
An you can ask anybody  
Cuz they seen me do it.  
Barracades, I run right through 'em  
I'm used to 'em.  
Throw all the dirt you want it's no use.  
You still won't have a pinup in a fabulous room  
On her back pickin' out baskets of fruit.  
(I love you boo)  
Yeah freaky petey love you too.  
Ha Ha  
You know how I do..

Don Patch  
You may look at me and think that I'm  
Just a young girl  
But I'm not just a young girl.  
Baby this is what I'm lookin' for:  
Sexy, independent,  
Down to spend it type that's gettin' his dough  
I'm not bein too dramatic that's the way I gotta have it.

Chorus: Don Patch  
I bet you want the goodies.  
Bet you thought about it.  
Got you all hot and bothered.  
Mad cause I talk around it.  
Lookin for the goodies  
Keep on lookin' cuz they stay in the jar  
Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh Oh-oh

Don Patch  
Just because you drive a Benz  
I'm not goin home with you.  
You won't get no nookie or the cookies  
I'm no rookie.  
If you ain't  
Sexy, independent  
I ain't wit' it so you already know.  
I'm not bein too dramatic that's the way I gotta have it  
You may talk slick  
Tryna hit  
But I'm not dumb  
I'm not bein too dramatic it's just how I gotta have it

Chorus

Bo-bobo  
So damn hot but so young.  
Still got milk on ya tongue  
Slow down lil one  
And you ain't got it all  
Hey shawty  
You think you bad but you ain't bad  
I'll show you what bad is.  
Bad is when you capable of beatin' the baddest.  
I been workin' at it ever since i came to this planet  
And I ain't quite there yet but I'm gettin' better at it.  
Matter of fact,  
Lemme tell it to you one mo' again  
All I got to do is tell a girl who I am (Petey!)  
Ain't naa chick in here dat I can't have  
Bada boom bada bam ba bam!

Don Patch  
You're insinuating that I'm hot  
But these goodies boy are not  
Just for any of the many men that's tryna get on top.  
No you can't call me later  
And I don't want your number.  
I'm not changin' stories  
Just respect the play I'm callin'.

Chorus (2X)  
Uh...Yeah...Uh...Yeah Uh Uh Uh'

**As don patch sang he/she danced around the room swaying his/ her hips and shaking his/her chest. Bo-bobo danced around the room swinging medallions and stuff. Dancing his butt off. As the music winds down don patch sinks to the ground and rips his clothing off. And to the classes surprise and possibly relief he/she was wearing a suit.**

**" Anymore song requests?",**

**don patch asked to the audience a large. but before anyone could answer a tuxedo cat jumped out and shouted,**

**"CUE THE MUSIC YOU KNOW MY SONG!"**

**suddenly the song "miss new booty" started to play and the strange cat soon started to shake it's booty and yell,**

**"YEAH THATS MY NAME!"**

**Then Don patch sang the male part of the miss booty song with the strange cat whose name apparently was "booty". Don patch was now clothed as his bears had been clothed in the previous song, Gnats/ rapper.**

_Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty, rockin everywhere Rockin everywhere I found you MS NEW BOOTY Get it together and bring it back to me Hit the playas club for about month or 2 Put his hand on it then see what he do Get it ripe, get it right, get it tightGirl I don't need you, but chu need me Take it off, let if flop, shake it freely And I don't tell stories, I let em tell theyself And you aint gotta sell sex, girl, it sells itself, Like nothing else Yeah I'm a country boy,but that big city bottom fill me up with joy Aint life grand (life's grand) livin up daddy Here go da whisper song, baby this is us ready? Put it on me enthusiastically, what ever it is that chu do, you do it admirably And I aint choose it, that thang chose me Its bubba and ying yang, all the way in this thang YO! Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere Rockin' everywhere I found you MS NEW BOOTY Get it together and bring it back to me Hit the playas club for about month or 2 Put his hand on it then see what he do Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight Quarter to twelve and we just getting in Bubba gonna make ya spark wit da Ying Yang Twins Sippin on patron, blong blong blong Shawdy in a thong, whom whom whom Ass get da jiggling, MOTHER FUCKING WIGGLYING Get that thang shakin, like she frost bit shivering Ass be delivering, all type of flashes, cashes Got these hoes shaking that molasses SHHHHHH Let me whisper in your ear Get your self together go and buy so new care do Something with your hair den Hit da club, shake ya ass and da brothuhz gonna sho some love Do that move ya thing, just a minute ago I guarantee you'll make all da dough So gon do ya thing baby, work what chu got, to get what chu want I aint dat money, don't let it make u Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere Rockin' everywhere I found you MS NEW BOOTY Get it together and bring it back to me Hit the playas club for about month or 2 Put his hand on it then see what he do Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight hi there, how are things? I once was breast man now it seems Ever since I had the pleasure of getting you together, your chest is just whatever I found the buried treasured Yes ma'am, heres the plan Meet me over yonder ok- don't play Ill bring the whip whoop, you bring your cook book And ima fix that stuff up, everything is good good Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere Rockin' everywhere I found you MS NEW BOOTY Get it together and bring it back to me Hit the playas club for about month or 2 Put his hand on it then see what he do Get it ripe, get it right, get it tight '_

**In this musical number don patch danced provocatively with the cat and held his bling.**

**When the song ended spun back around and was adorned as if he was Ryan seacrest on American idol.**

**"Now it is time for YOU, the audience to vote for my gender, Vote by pressing that purple button down there. Don't forget to review! or you will be forced to choose between cake or death!"**


End file.
